EscortWP

Escort WP sites are probably the easiest way to get into the escort game these days, and you don’t even have to lurk at highway rest areas, behind 7-11, or try to skirt Craigslist’s anti-sex rules while trying to promote your business. Shit, all an aspiring Porn Webmaster really needs to do if they want to keep it simple is build a site with a WordPress theme built specially for the job. Guess what I’m going to be talking about here today.

Give yourself a pat on the back and a long, indulgent self-handjob if you guessed I’d be reviewing EscortWP.com, one of the most popular and feature-rich pre-built escort themes out there for WordPress. The site gets thousands of visitors a day, and I have to assume most of them are just feeling out the scene and seeing what they can do with it. Let me remind you, I’ve only got a few dozen escort sites listed over at ThePornDude, so it’s clear most of the visitors ain’t building their own hooker directory. The question is, are you going to be another window shopper, dreaming about getting a cut of that sex money, or are you going to make a grab for it?

Escort Directories the Easy Way

I’ve learned all kinds of shit in my years of being the world’s preeminent online pornography reviewer. I’ve got a head full of useless facts about things like topical anesthetic fisting lube and pregnancy hentai, as well as the more useful info I’ve packed this site with about how to make money in Internet smut. Sometimes that info is pretty self-evident. For one thing, you should never ever purchase a WordPress theme from a site that looks like shit. You probably shouldn’t buy anything from a website with poor presentation, but only the suckiest of suckers would buy a site theme from dipshits who clearly don’t know how to design one.

I bring that up because EscortWP.com itself is a relatively simple but sleek-looking website. Even before I dive into the demo, I like the way they’ve laid out the screenshots of the actual theme to show you what your escort site can look like on a phone, a tablet, or the big-ass screen you pretend to be working on whenever the boss is around. So far, so good.

In case you’re brand, brand new to the online porn game, the whole point of WordPress is to help anybody set up a website without having to learn a bunch of nerdy-ass code and then spend another couple hundred hours applying that code as they actually build the site. That means the Escort WP theme is the quickest shortcut to creating your own escort directory. They know you’ve always got one hand fapping away when you’re at the computer, so this’ll let you do this shit with your only free hand. All the heavy lifting has been done, so you’ve just got to choose the details that are going to make this site your own.

Under the Hood with EscortWP

Like any premium WP theme worth the cash, EscortWP.com has a live demo of their theme you can poke through while you get ideas. Keep in mind, the final product may have the same features but look completely different. The high level of easy customization is one of the selling points. You’ll definitely want your own custom logo and probably the color scheme of your dreams. You can move different elements anywhere you want, swap them, or cut them out entirely.

Their model envisions a global slut marketplace, though you may want to focus on a country, state or even a big enough city. It’s all up to you. Click a location and you’ll get a breakdown leading to local areas for users to peruse. The theme is built to incorporate plenty of photos, with a wall of profile shots and a sliding row of featured profiles at the top.

I prefer escort sites that don’t make you sign up for an account to see everything, including contact information. EscortWP gives you the option, and includes email verification for signups. There’s also image verification for the escorts, so you can make sure they’re real people and not scammers or bots.

The Features I Like to See

One of the things I immediately like about Escort WP is there’s a built-in review system. It’s totally up to you whether or not to include it, but when I’m checking out escort sites for ThePornDude, that’s always a feature I’m looking for. It’s like buying anything else on the Internet: if you wouldn’t order a microwave off the web without reading the user reviews, why the fuck would you order a footjob? Don’t blame me if the bitch has talons and spreads her athlete’s foot to your ding-dong.

Another big deal for me is the advanced search features EscortWP’s got under the hood. This is another big deal when I review these sites, because without it, you may end up having to scroll through 50 pages of photos only to end up negotiating prices with a chick who won’t even let you pee in her butt. The advanced search here lets you filter escorts, doms and masseuses by factors like height, weight, rate, titty size and whether or not they’ll swallow your cum.

There’s more room for photos on each of the profile pages. I looked through a few and didn’t see any videos posted, so I’m not sure the theme allows for it. The other features are pretty much what you’d expect from a good escort site, including space for a bio/sales pitch, contact info, and the trading card set of stats like Availability, Bust Size, Height, Orientation and Build. They can list rates and services, and users can leave their writeups at the bottom.

One of the things Escort WP boasts about is that no plugins are necessary with this theme. It’s WordPress, so widgets and plugins are easy as fuck to roll into your design, but they’ve done everything they can to cover all their bases, so that won’t be necessary.

Easy AF and Cheap to Boot

The demo is solid enough that I started wondering if I should try my hand at it. Some elements of an escort site certainly run themselves once you’ve got the thing set up. Escort WP costs around $200, which includes lifetime support and lifetime updates. You’re not limited to just one domain, either, so you don’t have to pay another couple hundred if you want to start a separate site for trannies or queers.

I bet you’ve already thought of the ways you can make that money back. There are a variety of ways to monetize your end product. There’s payment integration with WooCommerce, meaning you can use many different payment processors as long as they’ve got a plugin. Earn some cash from VIP members or escorts looking for a featured or premium status. Alternately, you can make it all free and earn your money with ads and affiliate deals. Fuck around and see what works best.

I couldn’t really find any downsides to building an escort site with the EscortWP.com theme. On the contrary, just reviewing the website really made me wonder if I should buy it and give it the DIY treatment. Their brag about not requiring plugins is bold, but it doesn’t seem like bullshit. This theme has everything I expect in an escort site, as well as everything I look for when I’m reviewing one.

If you’re looking to create your own escort directory, you have a few options. If you’re really fucking good with code, you could spend a ton of time doing it yourself. If you’ve got a bunch of money laying around, you could hire a professional or a team of them to work around the clock to build a custom design. Or, you could do it the really easy way and use EscortWP. It’s damn near completely pre-built for you, with enough customization options to make sure it doesn’t look like a clone of something else out there. Check out the demo at EscortWP.com and see how it makes you feel.