Maddos Directory Theme

Now, I know what you’re thinking – the URL is huge, and it looks fucking stupid. Bear with me. It’s worth it, I promise. Maddos is a fantastic directory theme, and it might just be exactly what you need, provided you’ve got your heart set on owning your very own porn directory site. Technically, you could use this bad boy for non-pornographic content too, but who the fuck would use your website then? Soccer moms? They aren’t frequent clickers. With fappers, you have the guarantee that they’ll get thirsty again when they recharge their balls. Anyways, I’m not here to convince you to get into the online porn marketing industry – you’re already here. Let’s talk about Maddos.

It’s simple. The directory layout was defined way back in the day by The Big List of Porn. That website looked like ass and ran like dog poo, but it had a ton of smut links on it, so people loved it. It’s the site that inspired my job. No lie. That’s what got me into this industry. And look at you now, following in my footsteps. Well, if you want to be the next PornDude, you can. Maddos is explicitly a one-stop-shop solution for people who want to run their porn directory through WordPress. There are pros, and there are cons to using WordPress for your business, and I’ll go through them all, and we also need to go through the actual theme quality itself. All in all, I’ll say, Maddos gets the job done. It’s no joke.

The Directory Layout

You’ve seen it a thousand times before – tons of columns with titles and lists of shit that people want to see. It’s the nicest way to break down porn sites into relevant categories for people to sift through. It’s how a porn food menu would look if there were such a thing as a porn restaurant. No customer would be confused about where to look for the exact flavor of smut they’re hungry for that evening. You want anal; you got it. Find it under the genre section. Oh, you’re in the mood for something more specific, like porn games? We’ve got you covered under the gaming section. It’s a sex buffet, and all the smut is served piping hot.

Now, as for the content that goes onto the site, well, that’s your job. You’re the porn curator. People are paying you for the privilege of finding out what you consider to be fap-worthy smut. It’s every guy’s dream job. Don’t lie to me. I know you get hard just thinking about it. It’s fantastic stuff. So, I wholeheartedly encourage you to follow in my footsteps and get your very own porn directory up and running. Don’t forget to get referral links for any websites you link to. You don’t want to be doing this shit for free. You could technically run ads on your site and make your money that way, but that’s just going to bog down the experience and encourage people to give you the middle finger and fuck off. Ad-free, with referrals, is the way to go. That’s my wisdom.

WordPress and Maddos

WordPress is the engine that drives your site; Maddos is the theme that brings it all together and gives you all the tools you’ll need to have a porn directory up and running from the get-go. Personally, I prefer porn directory scripts that are bare and written for this specific purpose, but I can imagine many among you’d choose WordPress on principle. Let’s get down to brass tacks – WordPress is a steaming pile of shit. But it’s a popular pile of shit, like that one guy in high school that everyone liked, even though he had no real redeeming qualities. That’s WordPress for you. People who are familiar with its dashboard don’t want to migrate.

In case you’re a WordPress maniac, and you want to keep it in the family, you can get Maddos for a lean one-time payment of only $35, and your entire WordPress will instantly become a porn directory. Well, I say porn directory, I mean directory, but you get it already. Could you not make me repeat myself? You’re free to edit this bad boy anyway you want. Once you buy the theme, it’s yours to tinker with any way you’d like. Plus, you gain from all the features that WordPress benefits from. The extensibility is implied.

Wordpress and You

Every time I talk about WordPress, I feel like a used car salesman. Did I already mention that it’s a steaming pile of shit? I did, didn’t I? Look, WordPress is an old and outdated blog engine that was most likely coded on a Soviet-Era personal computer by second-rate programmers who were being held at gunpoint. They were told: Make the least friendly, most disgusting web engine known to man, but make it appealing to simpletons, or by golly, we will shoot you dead. Boy, did they deliver?

WordPress is kept afloat by the promise of extensibility. That’s code for “millions of plugins that no-one asked for.” Then again, if you’re the kind of clinically insane anal-retentive micro-manager who likes having 27 different plugins for marketing analytics and 7 additional plugins to handle your giant ego, then WordPress is the perfect fit for you. It’s kind of like a Ford F50, to be honest. It’s big, bulky, powerful, and with a ton of storage space, but it makes it painfully obvious that you’ve got no friends.

Now that I’m done shitting on WordPress let’s go back to talking about the Maddos theme.

Maddos is Great

I like Maddos. Ok? There, I said it. As far as WordPress themes go, it’s a slam-dunk. It’s tiny as hell, it loads fast, and it pretty much guarantees infinite growth with zero issues. Just do me a favor and don’t try to add any moving parts to it. The whole point of porn directories is that they load instantly. People with boners in their hands hate waiting for referral pages to load. And, since you make your money on the actual referral links, you don’t need retention. Hell, your bounce rates should be as high as possible when you really think about it. Just make sure you’re bouncing people through the links and not away from them.

Maddos does a great job redeeming WordPress as a legitimate platform for these kinds of online businesses. When I think about it, WordPress with Maddos might be the perfect solution for this kind of porn directory, but only if you don’t intend to extend the site to offer some sort of payment or log-in system. If you only want a porn directory, like the one I’ve got going on, then you’ll be set for life. Plus, analytical integrations will be a breeze. You’ll always be one plugin away from solving most of your problems.

Design Changes

When you first get your hands on Maddos, your site is going to be barren. You need to add content to the damn thing. The lists make up the majority of the content. There is the option to auto-pull the actual icons from the destination sites, and you’re going to want to use them. You’ll also want to auto-import large lists in an exportable format so that you can edit them easily, later on. Do not enter the actual web links manually every single time – you will lose your flipping mind in the long run. Figure out a system that works for you so that you can do bulk edits. Also, make sure to back your site up in case you fuck the theme up. You don’t want to do a clean reinstall. It’s a pain.

As for the actual styles and colors, who the hell cares? Do a quick Google search for appealing colors, and you’ll find that, for porn, orange, red, pink, and neutral greys are the best. The neutral colors give off a neutral vibe, duh. It’s the way of the middle man. On the other hand, if you want to make a statement, you go with red or pink. The orange is just a PornHub reference at this point. I’m not even going to pretend that that site hasn’t completely pissed all over the color orange for me. But, it works as a subtle nod, so by all means, have at it. Just don’t make your site blue. Blue is the color of unhappy balls. You want them pink and ready for action.

As a final note, make sure to check out the several demo sites that are currently using Maddos. I’m sure you’ll be blown away by the load times if nothing else. And, if you’re dead set on using WordPress, well, you’ve found the right theme. It’s just that simple.