Google Cloud CDN

Have you ever heard about Cloud CDN? Everyone probably has, but how many of you punks can actually tell me what the fuck Google Cloud CDN offers? Exactly. For those who are interested in the perks and usefulness of this crap, I am here to provide all the necessary information. Although, I must say that the tour page, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, is pretty dope as well. So for those who already know what they are getting into, just visit the tour page… everything is explained there.

As for the rest of you fuckers, who need a bit more information, I am here to tell you everything. First of all, the CDN in the name stands for Content Delivery Network. Whatever your website or app actually is, there is a high chance that the users who are visiting/using your crap are distributed all over the world… This means that the request will travel over the public internet and will not be consistent, which can cause a lot of bad user-experience.

Now, that is where Cloud CDN comes in. Cloud CDN is a Content Delivery Network that is designed to accelerate your video and web content delivery by simply bringing it to the users as close as possible. It uses Google’s Global Edge Network to do that. Because of that, the latency, load, and cost on your backend servers will be reduced, which makes it easier to be approachable to millions.

I am well aware that to some of you, this might sound like a whole lot of mumbo-jumbo, so I will simplify it through the review. As for those who already know WTF I'm talking about, you are welcome to check out the site on your own… Or stick around, and listen to me ramble on about the beauty of using Cloud CDN. Your choice.

Important features

I mean, I already gave you the gist of the main features, but let me elaborate. First of all, the most important feature of Cloud CDN is that it offers connectivity to lots of users on a global scale. As many users try to reach your website worldwide, they might have some issues… and that can cause many users to just give up on whatever the fuck you are offering them (site/app).

That is not something you’d want to happen, right? Well, that is what Cloud CDN is primarily designed for. Now, I should also mention that Cloud CDN is closely integrated with cloud logging and cloud monitoring, which provides detailed latency metrics outside of the box. It also provides the raw HTTP request logs, which can be exported into BigQuery and/or Cloud Storage if you want to have them analyzed further.

Complementary to Google Cloud’s private network, the modern protocols that were developed at Google originally are supported by Cloud CDN (such as HTTP/2 and QUIC). Again, more info about this you can find on the official page, aka cloud.google.com/cdn. So check that shit out… or Google whatever the fuck you do not understand. On cloud.google.com/cdn, they also have their customers listed, which are a lot of big names.

In addition, Cloud CDN allows users to deliver their content even if it is hosted on-premises or in another cloud. There will be TLS (SSL) certificates included with no added cost through their managed certificate service… diminishing the need for you to renew or acquire SSL certificates. You are also able to bring your own certificate, which will not cost anything extra.

How to use Cloud CDN?

First of all, I want to say that there is an actual tutorial that will explain everything in detail. So, if you are interested in how to get started, and you thought that I would write an actual tutorial or any of that shit, you are very much wrong. I will just give you the gist of what you can expect, but for the actual tutorial, stop being a lazy piece of shit, and just visit cloud.google.com/cdn.

You will be allowed to set up cloud CDN through GCloud Command Line interface, APIs (Client Libraries), or Cloud Console. Cloud CDN leverages Google Cloud global external HTTP(s) load balancers, which provides health checking, routing, and Anycast support. This also makes it easy to enable it by simply checking a box when setting up the backends or the origins.

When it comes to web and media content, you can use Google Cloud Storage. All you have to do is upload the content to a bucket, set up the load balancer, and then enable caching. In addition, Cloud CDN and HTTP(s) load balancing will also support external backends. This means that if you have services that are on-prem or in other clouds, you will be able to enable them.

What about security?

When it comes to shit like uploading your crap to Cloud, security is very important. I think everyone can agree with that. So, how is the security with Cloud CDN? Well, data is encrypted at rest and in transit from Google Cloud load balancing to backend. This means that the end-to-end encrypted experience is also supported.

You will be able to programmatically sign cookies and URLs, limiting video segment access to only the users who have authorization. This means that unless the user is authorities, they will not be able to access your crap… which also blocks the fellows who love to go into incognito browsing mode. Basically, what I am trying to say is that their security is pretty fucking dope.

In case you run into any kinds of issues or you have any questions, you are welcome to contact them through customer support. Their customer support is pretty neat from my own experience, they responded quickly, and they helped with whatever the fuck they could help. However, if you really want to get help from their support, you will need to be a user… or at least have the trial activated.

Okay, so how much will all of this cost me?

Well, this is a lot more complicated than just giving you an overall price. The prices will depend on what the fuck you want in the first place. Well, everything is listed on cloud.google.com/cdn. So, you are more than welcome to check that shit out.

If you do not understand the provided info, you could just check out their Google Cloud Pricing Calculator. That is a pretty neat gadget! With this, even an idiot will be able to check the prices that interest her… and I say ‘her’ because let’s face it… Men know how the fuck this shit works.

Below the calculator, you even have an FAQ page that will pretty much answer all the remaining questions you might have. Keep in mind that all the prices are given in USD. As for those who are still not sure whether they want to use the privileges of Cloud CDN, there is a trial option.

Conclusion

The great thing about Cloud CDN is that they provide an amazing tour page, where all the important information is listed. They also have a video on YouTube, where they give you an overview of Cloud CDN, what it is for, and how you can use it. That is something a lot of CDN sites offer… and let’s not forget that Google Cloud CDN welcomes all kinds of content, pornos included. Then again, if it did not allow adult content, I am pretty sure I would not be reviewing it.

Overall, Google Cloud CDN is a content delivery service that is quite low-cost, considering what they offer. It uses Google’s global network, and they have over data centers in over ninety locations worldwide. You will be given an SSL certificate without being charged extra to secure the website. Plus, it can be used with the Google Cloud Platform.

Considering that they have a free trial, what the fuck do you have to lose? There are other pricing plans too, and a calculator that will help you know how much you will be paying. Their plans are mostly “pay as you go” kind of plans, so my advice is to give their trial a go first. But that is entirely up to you… so do whatever the fuck you want.

If you think your porn website might be a bit slow, how about you give Google Cloud CDN a shot? It might just give you the speed boost you need to attract and keep more users. I think this pretty much covers all the important crap about Google Cloud CDN, and if there is anything else that interests you, just visit cloud.google.com/cdn.