GTmetrix

You can fuck around with all aspects of your site trying to improve its SEO or general performance, but that won’t matter if you don’t know what’s wrong to begin with. Think about that shit. Imagine trying to go in for surgery because your stomach hurts. That issue could be anything from food poisoning to something more serious. It’d be in your best interest to get a bit of a diagnosis first. The same can be said for your site. You don’t want to go fiddling around with stuff that might not even be fucked up. You might mess things up and make your site perform even worse than before.

Luckily for you webmasters, I’ve got a solution. I wouldn’t tease you cucks this long if I didn’t have the right site for you. This one is called Gtmertrix.com. It’s an online site for a piece of downloadable SEO software that analyzes your site in many different and useful ways. You can track specific page loading times and see exactly what’s bogging it down. And you can take a look at how well your site performs on different servers and locations around the world. This robust tool has been kickin’ since 2009. With over a decade of experience, you know you can trust this program to give you quality insights.

A Busy but Professional Site Design with a Light Version of the Software Built-In

The site is intense. There’s a lot going on here. It looks like a goddamn stock trading page with all of the statistics, graphs, and moving bits of data. Don’t get me wrong; it still has a professional look and feel to it. It’s just that those of you who aren’t terribly savvy in techno-babble might feel a little overwhelmed by this site. It’d be like walking in late to an orgy. Everyone is already pounding pussy and getting blown, and you’re just standing there trying to find a place to hop in.

You don’t even have to download any software to try this shit out. There’s a light version of the tool integrated into the browser that you can use for free. Of course, the free version has its limits, but I’ll go over that shit later. This program works by you plugging in a domain name and hitting the “test your site” button. It will analyze many different criteria and give you results for improving your SEO and performance. Granted, it doesn’t fix what’s broken for you. You’ll still need to go out and do the dirty work yourself.

Get Grades for Loading Times, Structure, and Overall Site Performance

It’ll only take a moment, and you don’t even have to sign in for the tool to work. I mean, it’s still worth signing up for some additional bells and whistles. Plus, you can keep track of your past searches and compare results a bit easier than doing it manually. You’ll get a graded rating from F-A. Though you really have to have a slow as fuck site to get an F. Next to that grade, you’ll see a percentage for overall performance and structure. If those numbers don’t mean jack shit to you, then you can scroll down to the tabs below and see breakdowns for how that score is determined.

It analyzes site latency, page loading times, the time it takes to interact with site elements, speed index, and a fuck ton more. Really, there are well over a hundred metrics that you can scroll through and figure out how to manage and make better. Each score will be color-coded green, yellow, or red based on your score. Green is great, yellow is underperforming, and red is a must-fix. And the basic setup is that it throws your site to a Canada based server. That’s one of the things you can change if you make a free account. You can pick from a decent range of free server locations in popular areas of the world.

Individual Packages Starting at $10 a Month

But you can do so much more if you dish out the dosh for a premium account. It’s just like porn. You’re not going to be able to watch babes get fucked in 4K without paying. Well, unless you go to a sketchy site or want to put your pirate hat on. Anyway, a premium account lets you search and manage many more websites as well as get live notifications for any site’s performance. This is great for keeping up with your site’s stats as well as your competitors.

Paying for a premium account also lets you monitor data over a longer period of time. You can see how well your site has been performing over the course of months instead of just weeks. But I know that all you cheap fucks want to know is how much this shit is going to cost you. It’s actually pretty damn reasonable. Individual plans range from $10-$40 a month, depending on how much bang you need for your buck. Honestly, most of you will probably be fine with the $10 or $20 a month plans. The more expensive ones are for you big-dicked alphas out there that need robust analytics.

30-Day Money-Back Guarantee for Any Reason!

Oh, and all of these plans are billed yearly. So, you’ll need to dish out all of that money at once. There are monthly plans but expect to pay 10-15% percent more for the convenience. If you’re a big-ass company that needs more firepower than what these plans can give you, then you can flip over to the enterprise tab to get your hands on powerful plans that range from $60-$425 a month. Yeah, that’s a fat stack, but you’re getting many features and insightful analytics on-demand. Plus, Gtmetrix offers a 30-day money-back guarantee if you’re displeased with any part of your experience.

Pornwebmaster’s Favorite Features

Gtmetrix doesn’t skimp out when it comes to data. You’ll have more metrics and statistics than you know what to fucking do with. It’s insane. You can get as deep and dirty with your site’s analytics as you want to. You may need to hire a professional nerd to take a look at some of these details because you won’t understand shit if you don’t speak tech lingo. But, still, you even get a fair bit of information with the free plan. There are a ton of free regions you can run your site through, as well as a decent set of data that gets pumped out for you.

And the premium plans offer a ton of value for the price. It’s like finding a hot babe who will blow you and let you fuck her ass without charging you extra. The plans are dirt cheap. It’s a drop in the bucket compared to the hosting and marketing plans that you’re probably spending dosh on already. Plus, there’s a lot in terms of scalability here. They have plans that suit any sized business, and they’ll even create a custom solution for you if need be.

Pornwebmaster’s Suggestions

The site could be a little more user friendly. It’s a bit of a jumbled mess when you’re first looking at it. It makes more sense as you start using the tool and getting the data, but it could still use some work. A more modern design with less moving shit on the front page might make for a more inviting site for new users. Other than that small gripe, this site kicks ass. You get access to a lot of cool features and pieces of data without having to pay a goddamn dime. Few SEO sites can make that same claim. And, to give them credit, they manage to present the data in a digestible way without getting too convoluted or crazy.

Pornwebmaster’s Final Thoughts

Overall, Gtmetrix.com is a great tool to use if you’re trying to manage unseen aspects of your site that could be contributing to longer load times or latency issues. This software gives you the rundown on pretty much every factor that influences your site’s performance or stability. And you can try it all out for free. Sure, it’s a lighter version of the full program, but the free version can definitely offer useful insights into the how and why of your site performance. Hell, the paid versions offer a whole lot more and don’t even cost that much. I highly recommend this site to webmasters looking to improve their website or network's performance and overall user experience.