Liquid Web

LiquidWeb! Listen, we all have our talents. Mine are fucking bitches, making money, and then fucking more bitches, but server management isn’t on that list. Sure, I may have gained a fair bit of knowledge over the years, but some of you fucks are just beginning your journey into the world of hosting, ad networks, and all of that shit. Hell, some of you might not even know what a hosting solution does or what it’s for, let alone all of the clunky jargon.

If that all sounds like too much for your horny walnut-sized brain, then you should consider giving a fully-managed hosting network a shot. Essentially, they take the reins from your cum-crusted fingers and have a team of server and site experts take control. These sites usually cost a bit more, but it comes at the prize of a lot more time on your hands to market and work on other aspects of your site.

There are quite a few managed hosting networks out there, but none offer the human connection as fiercely as Liquidweb.com. They claim to be “the most helpful humans in hosting.” So, that means you’ll never have to deal with slews of automated prompts, auto-mailers, or any of that bullshit. You’ll be connected with a skilled fuck who knows what they are doing. And, man, they’ve been at this shit since 1997. This goddamn company is likely older than some of you ambitious cucks reading this right now.

Sit Back and Let Liquidweb take Control of the Nerd Shit

I know some of you are control freaks. I get it. You don’t want some chump fucking up all of your hard work. These are managed servers, so you’ll have to let them handle all of the shit themselves. But you’ll never be far from a voice on the other side. You can call these guys 24/7 to talk about your hosting needs and adapt them on the fly. Fuck, they have a 59 second live chat response time. That’s impressive. They have the toolset to answer newbie and veteran questions alike. They’ll get as down and dirty with your content as you want.

They’re not just trying to make a sale. I mean, yeah, they want to sell you their service. But this is one of the few sites actually trying to help you out every step of the way. They offer that 24/7 support line, but they’ll also assist you in migrating your existing content or store to their platform with any plan you pick. Liquidweb takes the worry of security away. No more fussing with shitty services or sketchy VPNs. This site will monitor your site(s) 24/7 and handle any malware or attacks you face. Instead of waking up at 3 am because your site got DDOSed, you’ll sleep soundly through the night as their experts handle it.

Fully-Managed VPS Plans Starting at $59 a Month

In addition to every package being fully managed, they offer more packages and services than the leading competitors. It’s like if a brothel opened up on a busy street next to a long-standing one, but they also sold dope-ass milkshakes and gave away free tit-jobs. Their cheapest plan is going to be a basic VPS that starts as low as $59 a month. I know that sounds steep. Hell, you can find VPS services for under 20 bucks a month. But I bet you those won’t be run for you. That extra cost lands you a knowledgeable team of nerds who will run every facet of that VPS for you.

That’s not the only VPS plan either. They have room for you to grow all of the way up to a beefy plan with an 8vCPU and some other crazy features that will run you $189 a month. But their VPS service is just the tip of the iceberg, since they have a whole array of plans. You can make use of their cloud site service for as low as $150 a month. With that plan, you get access to an expansive, easy-to-use site builder and a robust bit of storage. Hell, if you want to keep shit really bare-bones, you can sign up for their WordPress hosting service where they’ll help you run your sultry audio kink blog for just $19 a month.

Hosting Packages for Blogs and 20+ Site Porn Empires Alike

If you want to curate a more personalized experience, then you might want to consider their private VPS parent service. What a fucking mouthful. Basically, it gives you the power to create multiple VPS instances on one machine. This is great for those who might have a network of porn sites that you want to connect on the same virtual server. And, of course, they have a suite of dedicated server options for you fucks with big bucks who want everyone to experience your premium 4k foot-fetish site with no lag or delay. You can get a starting server for as low as $199 a month all of the way up to a beastly server that will slap its meaty cock on the table for $549 a month.

But that’s not even the limit of what Liquidweb.com has to offer. If you’re an absolutely massive, and I mean enormous site, you might be able to make use of their elite server cluster packages. I’m not going to go super in-depth on these options since most of you will barely be able to justify their bare-bones plans, but you should know that they are there and available. They have plans ranging from $743-$2,149 a month. There really are no limits at all for how much you can grow and expand your porn empire with this site. They have the most fully-managed plans and packages that I have seen from a network that accepts and handles adult content.

Pornwebmaster’s Favorite Features

You don’t have to do shit. You sign up for your server, get your site migrated, and then you can sit back and jerk off to some sluts deepthroating some cock while these nerds take care of everything. It’s like a spa day, but you never leave. They make sure that your site is protected from attacks, always online, and they make sure you’re pleased with every step of the journey. You don’t have to fuck with code, command lines, or clunky server terms that nobody understands. For a little bit more a month, you get to buy hundreds of hours of your time back.

The scalability with this site is insane. You can start as a piddling porn blog with 3 followers and have options available for you no matter how much traffic you pull. There are even options for big-ass companies with dozens of sites. They’ll pull out all of the stops and give you a fucking room of servers if that’s the kind of attention that your project needs. Few hosting sites have the incredible infrastructure required to support such ambitious projects like these guys do.

Pornwebmaster’s Suggestions

I know that these guys support adult content, but I would have liked to see that in writing. New users won’t know that this site will take your BBW cum-tribute site just by looking at it. And I’d like to know where the virtual servers are located. It doesn’t list that pretty important detail in the immediate description. I’m sure with an infrastructure like theirs that they have locations across the globe, but I want to be able to look at a list of locations and know that I’ll be getting placed where I need to be. It wouldn’t take much to simply add a line or two beneath the description.

Pornwebmaster’s Final Thoughts

Overall, Liquidweb.com is the site to visit for a hands-off experience. No, not hands-free. That’s something else entirely, you lewd bastards. Their team of experts will walk you through every step from site migration to what they’ll be doing to keep your site safe and secure. You can plug in your details and sit back while they take care of all of the daily shit that’s needed to run a server and keep it online. It may be a little bit more money upfront, but I’m telling you that you’ll be thanking yourself down the line for the dozens of hours of fiddling that you’ll save. I highly recommend that any sized creator or developer check this site out because they have a wide array of options for any sized business.