Hostinger

Browsing some of the hosting sites out there can be intimidating as fuck. It’s like walking up to a club and seeing the Chad bouncer that towers above your pathetic, skinny, beta body. You fucks start shaking and begin to panic. The massive servers and their equally massive price tags can make you feel in over your head. These sites will have chats that pop up and try to rope you into deals that you don’t need in the guise of helping you out. It can feel like going to a fucking used car dealership. You don’t want to walk out of there with some 30% APR car you don’t need.

Don’t you betas worry. I’ve got you covered. I went out and found a quality hosting site that offers solutions for small sex shops, fetish bloggers, and lewd gamers alike. You won’t have to worry about getting taken advantage of at Hostinger.com. They won’t slip a roofie in your drink and steal your credit card. They boast plans as low as $0.99 a month and these aren’t newcomers to the field. They’ve been providing quality hosting solutions for small and mid-level creators since way back in 2002.

Unmanaged Virtual Servers & Shared Hosting Solutions for a Low Price

With nearly 20 years of experience, you know these fucks are going to be trustworthy and knowledgeable. Before we get into the good shit, I want to get it out there that they don’t have dedicated servers for sale. Everything is virtual. So, you’ll want to take your porn site empire elsewhere if you need a wall of custom servers to house your 8K VR deepthroating games. They likely won’t have the infrastructure or customizability options required to make that dream a reality for you.

They will try and get you to buy by showing some countdown on their landing page that says the deals will end soon! Yeah, alright. Sure they will. Don’t feel too rushed. I’m sure that you can come back and take advantage of yet another “deal” down the road. The one that they push the most is the $0.99 option I mentioned up top. And I doubt that particular deal will be going anywhere.

Land Great Deals...if You Pay for 48 Months in Advance

As you likely expected, that deal is only good for beginners with a single site, 1 email, and you’re only going to get 100GB of bandwidth. It’s a shared hosting plan, and it isn’t managed. So, you’ll need to keep with the server shit on your own, though that won’t be too much for a shared plan like this. And that price is only given to you if you pay for 48 months upfront. That money is gone even if you grow and require another plan down the road. If you pay monthly, then this shit will run you $9.99 a month.

If you need more than what this tiny plan can offer, you should grab their “premium shared hosting” plan tailored to personal websites. You get unlimited bandwidth, websites, emails, and you even get a free domain and SSL certificate tossed in. Now, this will run you $2.89 a month. But, hey, guess what? That’s right! There’s a fucking catch. You need to pony up the cast for 48 months again; otherwise, it will run you $10.99 a month. Oh, and that free domain and SSL certification only gets added on the 48-month plan.

A Wide Array of VPS Hosting Options for Creators Medium and Small

Jesus. Could you imagine if some whore at a strip club came up to you and said you needed to pay for four years up lapdances to get a quality deal? We all know that shit would be bunk. Odds are that she’ll get knocked up by some meth addict and lose her cushy job, which will leave you limp-dicked and broke. I get why they do these deals. They don’t want you flaky cucks dropping out after a month of service, but I hate these tiered pricing plans. It always feels like I’m getting robbed.

But they still have a ton of plans to cover! Their business shared hosting plan gets you daily backups, 4X allocated resources, and all of the good shit from the other plans for $3.99-$15.99 a month, depending on how long you pay for upfront. If you want something a bit more private, then you can make use of their VPS or cloud hosting plans. The cloud plans offer some beefy SSD storage, mid-tier CPUs, and a fair bit of RAM. These plans are decent enough to keep your adult site or network of sites running with no issues with prices ranging from $9.99-$56.99 a month if you pay upfront.

Take Advantage of Cheap Speciality Packages for WordPress and Minecraft

If you run a kinky Minecraft roleplay server, then, well, I’m sorry to hear that you’re still a virgin. But, hey, they have a cheap plan that will let you host your server without having to have your PC on all of the time. Aside from that gimmick, Hostinger also offers some sweet VPS packages that range from $3.95-$29.95 a month if you pay for the whole thing upfront. These are some damn good deals if you can handle the commitment. Some plans have upwards of 8TB of bandwidth!

There are around half a dozen different VPS options that all pack different levels of punch. These can run anything from a piddling porn blog about MILF feet all of the way up to a multi-site corporation. You get full root access, SSL certificate protection, and standard 24/7/365 phone support across all of their plans. They even boast a 30-day money-back guarantee if you’re not happy with any of their services or plans. So, you have time to feel out your plan and make sure it’s right for you.

Pornwebmaster’s Favorite Features

I like the affordable approach that Hostinger takes. Sure, the pricing can be aggravating and confusing at times. But there’s no arguing with the fact that you can land some absolutely incredible deals if you’re willing to throw down the dosh for a few years. These plans are great for if you know or can anticipate how large your site will be. If you know your toe-sucking GIF blog isn’t going to breach 1k visitors a month anytime soon, then you might be able to comfortably invest in one of their cheaper hosting options.

And they offer a solid set of features for being so affordable. The unlimited bandwidth on their shared hosting plans is a damn good feature. I’m not saying that bandwidth will be particularly fast, but at least you won’t run out of it anytime soon! Plus, their round-the-clock support team will ensure that any questions you have are answered quickly and efficiently. I know you lonely cucks will be eagerly calling them up just to have another person to talk to.

Pornwebmaster’s Suggestions

Fuck, iron out these insane pricing schemes. It’s so frustrating having to go through multiple pages just to get an idea about what a standard price is going to be. This isn’t sponsored, but Honey messed with those prices even further. It knocked 600 bucks off of one of the plans like it was nothing. But that just leads me to question the price even further. It’s hard to feel like you’re not getting scammed in some way when they have their prices listed like this. I think they’d benefit from a plain price bracket with everything laid out clearly.

Pornwebmaster’s Final Thoughts

Overall, there’s a lot to like with the packages that Hostinger.com offers. There’s also a lot to dislike in terms of pricing. But I think the benefits outweigh the negatives on this one. You get a large suite of tools and features for a fraction of the cost of many competitors. If you’re a small business looking to sell some lewd video content or a horny fapper looking to run a simple porntube site, then these are going to be your guys. You’ll have a lot of room to work with using their shared, premium, and VPS hosting plans. I highly recommend you check out their site and see if any of their plans have the right combination of features for your site!