Screaming Frog

ScreamingFrog.co.uk is a spider tool with tons of great SEO features. Don’t you fucks wish you could be everywhere at once? I know I do. I’d be plowing pussy all around the goddamn globe. I’d be like Santa, but I’d be bringing creampies to every naughty slut. That’s a list I’d definitely want to check twice. Unfortunately, that’s not the reality that I’m bringing to you guys. I actually want to be everywhere at once so that I can check sites, monitor changes, and find errors in SEO across my entire network. Or, hell, maybe I want to find errors or optimizations in other websites.

Normally, you’d need a team of nerds to accomplish that shit manually. There’s simply too much ever-changing content out there to do it on your own. But you also probably don’t have the cash to hire a team of people to do that work for you. Thankfully, I have found a bit of a middle-ground. It’s a dope SEO spider tool that can be found over at Screamingfrog.co.uk. No, it doesn’t have anything to do with actual spiders. It’s called that because it can create these huge webs of sites, features, scripts, and more.

Try the Tool out for Free with No Catches or Required Payments

This particular tool has been around since 2016 and is aimed at improving your site or network’s SEO on a budget. And, well, that budget can be free if you’re running a single website or don’t need access to some of the more robust features that this program offers. Seriously, you can download the program for free. It’s not a trial. You don’t have to link your payment information. You simply hit download to get access to a completely free version of the tool.

That’s fucking great. I can’t even remember the last time I came across an SEO tool that let you download a version of it for free. Most give you some bullshit 7-day trial and then charge you a ridiculous amount once that trial is up. Not with Screamingfrog! You get a decent toolset for free. You’re able to skim sites and find broken links, errors, redirects, duplicate pages, and generate sitemaps and visualizations. Not too shabby, right? Some paid tools don’t even offer visualizations and all of that good shit.

You’re Limited to 500 URLs Per-Crawl on the Free Version

Now, you will be stuck with 500 sites/links per-crawl with the free version. You won’t be able to let that shit run for hours and skim tens of thousands of websites. Now, keep in mind that that limit is only on every crawl. You can easily load up another crawl right after the last one. It just becomes a bit more time consuming and tedious if you’re trying to analyze massive swathes of data at a time, especially if you’re going to have to merge that data down the line. But it should be more than enough for you cucks running small foot fetish blogs or erotica sites.

Notably, you will be on your own with the free version. The nerds that run this site aren’t going to get out of bed and give you cheap fucks technical support unless you dish the dosh out for the premium version of the program. I get it. Nobody likes doing extra work for free. It’s like trying to get a kinky escort to do more than what you’ve paid her for. She might do it, but she sure as hell won’t be smiling and giving you all of the dirty lip service you may have gotten earlier. It’s just how shit like this works.

A Yearly Subscription Only Costs £149.00!

Luckily for you cheap betas out there, this program is only going to run you £149.00 a year. Yeah, you read that shit right. They don’t charge you that price every month or every two weeks. You pay once a year and have a license to use the full program; however the hell you want to. That’s nothing. I’ve probably spent more money on dumb shit this month. Most sites will charge you at least triple that price every year for comparable tools. So, believe me when I tell you guys that this is a fucking steal of a deal.

And the premium version does more than just remove the cap for the number of URLs you can crawl through at a time. You can take advantage of useful features like JavaScript rendering, near-duplicate content location, custom extraction, loads of analytics and integrations, and so much more. You’re getting a lot of bang for your buck with Screamingfrog’s spider tool.

Simple, Easy to Navigate Interface with Beginner-Friendly Controls

But none of that shit matters if the interface sucks. Well, you can easily check it out for yourself by either downloading the free version or by watching the site’s full 5-minute presentation of the tool. That’s the level of transparency that I like to see! I’ve seen plenty of websites simply go with screenshots or descriptions and leave it that. Fuck that. I need to see it in action. I found the tool to be incredibly intuitive to use and navigate. You’re not dealing with too many menus or complex tools. It’s all straightforward and easy enough to get the hang of, even if you’re a beginner.

If you’re sick of hearing me rant and rave about this tool, then maybe you’ll be interested in hearing what others have to say about it. You can head over to the testimonial section at the bottom of the site to scroll through all of the praise that other professionals have given this thing. Plus, you can see a long list of noteworthy sites that have used this tool or continue to use this tool for their SEO needs. It’s worth a look. There are some huge names down there that you might not expect.

Pornwebmaster’s Favorite Features

The free version kicks ass. Again, it’s been a long while since I’ve seen a dope tool like this offered for free, even though it’s more limited than the premium version. Still, I’ll take that over a bullshit “free” trial that makes me plug my credit card information. They know I’ll forget about that shit the very next day. It’s how most of those sites make their money. But, yeah, being able to crawl up to 500 URLs per-use was pretty fucking sweet, and you still got access to most of the bigger features. If anything, you’ll be able to get a decent idea of the tool before you dish out the dosh for a premium subscription.

Hell, even the premium version offers a lot of bang for your buck at just £149.00. This tool will give you custom visualizations for most things, which means you won’t have to try and parse through a stream of complex data. You get charts that are easy to understand and work throughout without requiring extensive knowledge in the field. And you get live technical support whenever the fuck you need it!

Pornwebmaster’s Suggestions

Oh, man, I’m having trouble coming up with some negative shit to say for once. And, trust me, I’m a master of negging. I know how to put someone down a peg or two for my own benefit. But, damn, this is a great tool! I don’t have any minor or major complaints this time around. The price is solid and the interface is intuitive. And it does just about everything I was looking for from an SEO spider tool. It even does most of the shit I was hoping it did for free!

Pornwebmaster’s Final Thoughts

Overall, Screamingfrog.co.uk is the site to visit for a solid SEO spider tool that you can get without, well, without having to dish out a goddamn dime. The free version of this tool will take your site or small network a long way on its own. And then the premium version is just the icing on top! For £149.00 a year, you get a load of awesome features that will take your site’s SEO to the next fucking level for the fraction of the cost of hiring nerdy betas to do that same work for you. I really liked this spider tool, and I highly recommend it to each and every single one of you site owners and webmasters out there who need a bit of a boost. At least pop over there and check out the free version to see if it is for you!