Payoneer

If you haven’t heard of Payoneer, you haven’t been living. Well, either that or you’re American. I’ll explain it. This here bad boy is a debit card service that operates exclusively through their website – no in-person contact. They ship you a debit card and you use it. That’s about it. It’s like an online bank, but it isn’t. It’s more of a wallet that you pay for. But, it’s damn near free.

I think they charge roughly $30 a year or something and that’s only if you’re actually using the card to receive money. Otherwise, they just wait. Check the actual terms on their site, don’t quote me. Either way, the damn service is amazing.

Sending Money Overseas

So, what about my “American” comment? Well, this card is actually not issued to Americans as far as I know. Its original intended purpose was for American companies to be able to pay foreigners directly, using ACH. That’s Automated Clearing House, by the way. It’s a quick and efficient way to send money without having to go to the bank. So, the card was made for foreigners, explicitly.

At first, you could only receive dollars, but they added euros as well. People absolutely loved the concept, so it kind of took off. Payoneer is now super popular and other than a few odd negative reviews here and there; the company seems extremely reputable and responsible. Hell, even after a gigantic controversial meltdown earlier this year, they bounced back with extreme professionalism. Now, let’s see how they can help you on your quest towards becoming an online porn god.

The Employer-Employee Model

To be perfectly clear, Payoneer was not exactly envisioned as a money transferring service. While you can send money from one Payoneer user to another, say, from you to a friend, the service itself is not envisioned for transfers. It’s kind of a one-way funnel. Money comes in from bank transfers and it exits through the cards. I’m assuming that Payoneer was perfectly aware of the fact that people might try to abuse their cards to circumvent banks and they didn’t want to do that. The purpose of Payoneer isn’t to replace your bank. The card is here to simplify overseas payments for contractor work, which brings us to you, the porn webmaster.

You’re undoubtedly going to have employees at some point. Maybe at first, you’ll try to get by with hiring freelancers using PayPal and sites like Upwork. There’s no shame in that. But, eventually, you’ll want to pay your employees directly, especially if they’re regular workers as opposed to one-offs. If your company is registered in the US, which is a very popular trend these days, you’re all set to use Payoneer without so much as lifting a finger. You tell your accounting department to send ACH payments straight to the recipients’ ACH accounts and your entire machine is well oiled and automated. They receive their money with minimal loss and you’re sleeping soundly.

Scaling as an Enterprise

Maybe I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, but you need this information. Once you start making the scary big bucks, you can spring for an enterprise deal with Payoneer. You will need to check with them for the actual numbers, because it’s hardly the kind of information you should be getting from me, but I’ll cover the basics of why you might want to support Payoneer payments. Say you want to open up some sort of porn casino, or maybe you have a referral program of some sort.

Just imagine any scenario in which your users need to receive money from you. There are many ways you can spin the porn angle to involve actual profit for both you and your users. Suddenly, your users are kind of like your clients. You get the picture.

Well, you could use PayPal for this purpose. But, PayPal’s got a nasty little monopolizing track record and it’s nice to have an alternative handy for large scale payouts, especially if you’re recommending a card for your customers to use. Both Upwork and Fiverr do this with Payoneer. They’ve got their enterprise accounts set up and they basically suggest that you get a Payoneer card so that you have your money handy the second it arrives.

The transfer time is ridiculously low, considering the cash doesn’t just land on your account, it lands in your pocket. So, if you’re looking to scale like a madman, keep Payoneer in mind for the moment when you actually want to start sending money out, en masse.

Quick, Painless and Reliable

You simply cannot understate the amazing value that comes with having one debit card that is hooked to your internationally accessible online wallet that you can receive bank payments to. Yes, there is the downside of not having an IBAN, but the ACH system works very similarly and it’s available all across the United States.

There might even be ways to receive said payments from other countries if you bounce them across an intermediary. Say you receive a payment from Australia in their dollars. You can use a service like Transferwise to convert those into American dollars and then receive those dollars through ACH. There are tons of tricky little methods like this to help you get your money where it needs to go.

It might sound shady, but the bottom line remains – as long as your report your taxes, you’re golden. It doesn’t matter how you receive your money. You’re free to simplify the process as much as you want. Generally speaking, your obligation is to your country.

You need to pay your taxes. Now, you can’t quote me on any of this, obviously, because tax services are different in every single country and you have to check your laws and abide by them. That’s your responsibility. I’m just here to tell you that Payoneer is fast and straightforward.

Security and Support

I’ve actually spoken to Payoneer support in the past and I know a few of my friends abroad have needed their help as well. Every single time it was the same story. What happens is, you call their hotline, they pick up, you tell them what’s wrong and they fix your problem. They never spin you for a loop or give you scripted bullshit. They actually listen when you speak and then they fix your problem. I’ve never heard of Payoneer support ever dicking anyone around.

Now, there are some reviews online that seem to state otherwise, but I just can’t take them seriously. Most of them are clearly people who were trying to engage in fraudulent activity. Obviously, Payoneer isn’t going to back you up if you’re trying to run some sort of scam. All the legitimate freelancers I’ve spoken to have told me that Payoneer have always been professional and courteous. I choose to believe them fully, for the time being.

They Keep Growing

Payoneer started out humble and they just kept growing, from day one. As of the time of writing this review, they have over 4 million customers, with 1,500 employees, 21 global offices and support for over 35 languages. That’s corporate coverage done right, if you ask me. As I mentioned, they also added Euro cards, and you’re free to have one of each if you’d like. I checked and they also have support for the British pound. I don’t know if they’re doling out cards for it, though.

It’s honestly damn hard to keep track of all the new features they’re adding or how they work, because they’re constantly working to improve their service. The bottom line is, they’re fast, they’re reliable, they’re easy to talk to and they’re here to stay. Before Payoneer, PayPal was quite frankly the only real option for these kinds of services. Yes, I know there were always alternatives like Skrill and Payza, but that’s not the point. Freelancers want a simple, cheap and fast solution. Having a debit card in your pocket at dirt-low transfer rates cannot be beat, especially when your customer support is on fleek.

The Big Debacle

Payoneer almost exploded and disappeared from the face of the Earth earlier this year when their stock exploded. Apparently, 1.9 billion euros went missing. They were forced to fire a lot of the higher-ups and their stock went to shit. However, thanks to some really clever and timely logistics, they pulled out of it in no time. Yes, some of their users had their funds frozen, but it was a temporary stop-gap measure. They resumed normal operations shortly thereafter.

I was really impressed by this, because they quite literally recovered from nearly 2 billion dollars up and disappearing. I won’t get into what happened to that cash; it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is that they moved to an entirely different card issuer and resumed normal operations like it was nobody’s business. Payoneer is a scrappy bunch and I, for one, would trust them with my money.