The Porn Dude

To quote a wise Jedi: “Well, of course, I know him, he’s me”. I’ve been ThePornDude for as long as I can remember and I gotta say, it’s been a great life so far. I’ve reviewed damn near every single relevant porn-related business, website, platform and everything in-between and I scour the internet every single day of my life to find more. Porn sites crop up faster than bunny love, if you know what I’m saying. It gets hard sometimes, keeping track of all of that content. It’s painstaking work, but someone’s got to do it. It might as well be me.

All right, that’s enough of patting myself on the back. Let’s talk about how my original website, ThePornDude, can help you become, well, my next review topic, I suppose.

Rating and Sorting

My website is built kind of democratically. My written reviews are all straight from the heart. I do my research, I give you my thoughts and I make sure to say pussy once every 100 words or so, to not lose focus of what really matters. That’s just for my benefit. The Point is, I don’t rate the sites; I review them. The community rates them. So, their popularity and their ratings are out of my control. Full disclosure, I am responsible for the order in which they appear on the home page, but if that weren’t the case, my site would be under constant attack by bots. Trust me; it’s for the better this way.

On top of that, I make sure to split up the sites into as many categories as possible. Some of these suffer from a bit of overlap, which I try to break up quite a bit. For example, you get XHamster under “free” and under “amateur”, but I cover the actual section in the latter review. You get the idea. I try to split things up so that it’s all properly segmented.

Finger on the Pulse

ThePornDude’s bottom line is this: Know your audience, know your porn and stay on top of the industry. The porn world was fast in 2001. Today, it’s on fire. If you’re not putting in daily work to keep track of what the fuck’s going on, you fall off and you have to do overtime to catch up. That’s where I come in, you see. You don’t have to document all the porn on the web, because I’ve already done it for you. And of course, my site is completely free to browse through. You’ll also notice there are no annoying ads on it. You’re welcome.

So, when you’re doing research for your site, especially when you’re first starting out, use ThePornDude. Use all of the information I’ve gathered and learn. The sections really help here. If you have so much as a vague idea about the genre you’re looking to break into, check that section. Check the related sub-sections too. Are you making a free porn tube or a premium one? Are you going to be selling BDSM clips or charging subscription fees to stream JAV? That’s up to you. But, once you know what you’re in for, find your competitors here, on my site. Hell, find the one you’re the most scared of and read my review. Chances are, even if I loved them, you’ll find a gripe or two that you can improve on, preemptively.

Keeping it Real

You’ll see me talk about this towards the bottom of my home page. I have a bit of an FAQ set up. I’m extremely proud of the fact that I like to keep it real. By that, I mean I only ever review real porn sites, not viral crap pages filled with spam and false links. I don’t judge porn sites by their cover. I’ve reviewed many janky sites that looked like they were put together as a high school IT project. I don’t have any problem with that. I do not judge the quality of the site in advance. I do, however, skip any websites that look like they were made to fuck with people’s safety.

To me, porn is a sacred matter. It wasn’t always this way, but porn is such a large part of what I do, I’ve grown to respect it in the same way that car manufacturers jizz all-over expensive Maseratis. You get the idea; I take porn very seriously. So, if you see a porn tube listed on my site, you can be damn sure that it’s not a waste of your time. At the very least, you’ll know it won’t destroy your computer.

Then again, nothing on the internet is ever truly safe. I mean, my site is, for sure. But, I can’t vouch for literally any of the websites I review, because everything is subject to change. Sure, they’re safe… for now. But, what about tomorrow? What if they get hacked? Just get an antivirus and don’t download any executable files, please.

Reading ThePornDude’s Reviews

My reviews are legendary. You’re reading this one and chances are you’ll be reading another once you’re done. I pride myself on being a sort of no-nonsense porn reviewer who tells it like it is. I know this might seem like most of the information I share is too shrouded in comedy to be useful, but bear with me. You need to think of ThePornDude not as an expert, but as a really observant customer. At the end of the day, you’re not making your porn site for the eyes of experts – you’re catering to 18-year-old virgins with their cock in their hands. These are not rocket scientists, all right? The only rocket they’ll ever polish is the 2-incher between their legs. – Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Well, my general approach mimics what these people are like – they don’t give a shit. Neither do I. I like porn; I watch porn, I talk about porn—end of the story. So, try to see the sites I review as I see them and you’ll immediately get a better idea of how the general public might perceive your site. Read between the lines. If I spend the entire review talking about various videos I watched, what does that tell you? Well, for one, you can conclude that the site worked and it didn’t lag or stutter. If it did, I wouldn’t have watched the videos. And, I would have bitched about the lag in the review. Sometimes you learn more from the shit that isn’t mentioned than from the shit that is.

Check My Top Sites

I’m not kidding about this, if you’re jumping into a niche market, check my top sites under said market. Take, for example, the “Best Porn Games” section. Nutaku is first on that list. Is that because they’re making some sort of state of the art porn games that defy reality and break records with amazing 3D graphics and high-quality sex scenes? No! It’s because Nutaku give the public what they want and as a consequence, they have a much larger following than say, H-Flash, who are 34th on that list. H-Flash has several hundreds of times more games, but I doubt they’re raking in the big bucks. Meanwhile, Nutaku is so successful that developers are flocking to them, begging them to play host for their games.

That’s who you want to learn from – the successful companies. If you’ve got some sort of delusions of artistic grandeur or you believe you’re going to be the next porn Jesus, you can forget about that right now. Running a porn website is a job and it’s a damn difficult one. The market’s saturated, your competitors want you dead and you’re struggling to make ends meet. If you blink, you start to bleed money; if you make a mistake, your site goes down. Look to the experts and learn from them. They won’t mind, they’re already winning. You won’t be knocking Nutaku down any time soon.

The Final Lesson

I’m not going to lie to you; there are many people out there who chose to steal from me instead of learning from me. They straight up just rip off all my hard work and claim it as their own. Putting aside for a moment how immoral that is, let’s talk about how it worked out for them. They’re solvent; there’s that. They’re making some money. But, they have nowhere to go but down. They ripped off my entire design, but they’re not innovating. At best, they’re just surviving.

On top of that, anyone who has respect for my work is unlikely to want to cooperate with them in any way. It’s just a very sad story. The market might be saturated, but there’s always room for more people who are looking to make money in porn. I didn’t get here by screwing people over and I’m genuinely suggesting that you try my approach. Learn from your competitors and beat them at their own game, fairly. You’ll feel good, they’ll feel good and we’ll all fap in the end.